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Author Topic: Funniest Joke you have ever heard  (Read 2526 times)

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Funniest Joke you have ever heard
« on: March 29, 2016, 10:21:27 PM »
Post the funniest joke you have ever heard    ;D
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Re: Funniest Joke you have ever heard
« Reply #1 on: April 09, 2016, 12:44:08 PM »
Wife texts husband on a cold winter morning:
"Windows frozen, won't open."
Husband texts back:
"Gently pour some lukewarm water over it, & gently tap edges with a hammer." Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now."
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.


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Re: Funniest Joke you have ever heard
« Reply #2 on: May 15, 2016, 10:15:55 PM »
A Couple went to a wishwell...

Husband bent down, threw a coin and made a wish,

Wife bent down a little more & fell into the well

Husband shouted: WoWww.....IT   WORKS !!!
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Why Can’t Coffee Shops Spell Correctly?
« Reply #3 on: June 30, 2016, 04:16:43 PM »
Why Can’t Coffee Shops Spell Correctly?

When asked for his name by the coffee shop clerk, my brother-in-law answered, “Marc, with a C.” Minutes later, he was handed his coffee with his name written on the side: Cark.
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Re: Funniest Joke you have ever heard
« Reply #4 on: June 05, 2017, 01:24:11 PM »
Paddy died in a fire and was burnt pretty badly. So the morgue needed someone to identify the body. His two best friends, Seamus and Sean, were sent for. Seamus went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet.
Seamus said "Yup, he's burnt pretty bad. Roll him over".
So the mortician rolled him over. Seamus looked and said "Nope, it ain't Paddy."
The mortician thought that was rather strange and then he brought Sean in to identify the body.
Sean took a look at him and said, "Yup, he's burnt real bad, roll him over."
The mortician rolled him over and Sean looked down and said, "No, it ain't Paddy."
The mortician asked, "How can you tell?"
Sean said, "Well, Paddy had two arseholes."
"What? He had two arseholes?" asked the mortician.
"Yup, everyone knew he had two arseholes. Every time we went into town, folks would say, 'Here comes Paddy with them two arseholes....'"

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